We all want to be happy and live a fulfilling life – yet often it the only thing stopping you from doing this is.. well you.
“But I’ve tried so hard to change,” I hear you say. Maybe you’ve already read lots of books and attended lots of courses, yet still find that you loose momentum once you have to navigate life again on your own terms.
So what is stopping us?
The answer can vary from person to person but 99% of the time it’s our own emotions that are holding us back.
What are emotions?
Emotions are not the same as feelings.
Feelings help us navigate the world. They are created within us based on either an external experience, or an internal experience, such as our own self-talk.
Feelings determine how we see and experience the world around us, and communicating our feelings helps us to express this and interact with others around us in a healthy and constructive way.
Feeling are a conscious experience. But not every conscious experience, such as using our 5 senses for example to see something, is a feeling. But it may create one. Just like beliefs – are not a feeling, but may create them.
Emotions on the other hand can be explained as a selection of different feelings, that appear subconsciously. They can be brought to the surface – and into the awareness of the conscious mind when we work on ourselves, either through self development, counceling or therapy.
Emotions are brought up through an experience, which is commonly known as a trigger, but can also be discovered through thoughts, beliefs, desires and actions.
Some people may spend an entire lifetime not understanding their emotions or the depth of them. Others may feel called to explore them deeper as a way of navigating life with greater ease, enjoyment and happiness.
So in brief – feelings are conscious and therefore easier to change than emotions, because they rise up from a subconscious level.
Why do we need emotions?
Emotions are our feedback system that influences our behaviour to either attract or avoid an emotional outcome. Reflection is therefore a key element in helping us see whether our subconscious navigating system is working in our favour, or needs tweaking in order to become more effective and aligned with our conscious desires.
Traumatic experiences leave an imprint on our brains. It creates increased activity in the areas that process fear. Experiencing trauma therefore also impacts our emotions, and can cause anxiety, anger, guilt and sadness. Nightmares and post traumatic syndroms (PTSD) flashbacks can also occur. If not addressed this can get worse over time and lead to various disorders that can start impacting our lives in detrimental ways.
How to manage your emotions
Awareness is the first step to manage your emotions. Understanding that you are not your emotions, just like you are not your feelings, is a vital first step.
Taking action is the necessary next step.
From having a meaningful conversation with a friend, to exercise, and getting a good restorative sleep – these are all great ways to address this on a personal level. For severe anxiety and PSTD, talking therapy would be a more suitable solution for most.
The key thing is really connecting with someone else, such a therapist or support group, to help you start addressing what can be very deeply rooted subconscious patterns of navigating life.
I have seen it with many of my clients and been there myself. This is why I’ve created my new group coaching programme that offers safe yet effective tools to help with this in a supportive setting.
It’s a live and interactive programme aimed at individuals living in different time zones, and facilitated online. Our online group sessions will take place at the weekend to allow most possible people to attend live. However, recordings will also be available, and you will need to set a side time during your day to utelise the tools and practices shared. You can find out more about my new group programme here.
You can also find daily inspiration and gentle mindset nudges in my closed, inclusive and safe Facebook group Happiness Health and Hygge, or sign up to my weekly newsletter.
Best wishes
Dorte x
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